The Hidden Cost of Remote Work: Are We Losing Our Humanity?

By Marly DiFruscio

Since the COVID pandemic, remote and hybrid work has been gradually on the rise. Despite many critics, surveys have consistently shown that employees tend to prefer working from home over in-office positions; the 2023 State of Remote Work Report found that 98% of respondents would like to work remotely, at least some of the time, for the rest of their careers. Then again in 2024, Forbes Advisor reported that this staggering number of 98% was still accurate — 98% of workers still expressed the desire to work remotely at least part of the time.

Remote work is a relatively recent trend following the pandemic, and something many people were forced into, so why is it so popular? A USA Today survey conducted in April 2024 found that 59% of remote workers cited better work-life balance as the top benefit, followed closely by saving time on commuting (55%) and having a more comfortable workspace (54%). 

Remote jobs provide ease and accessibility to millions of workers around the globe, but some worry that it comes at the cost of social connection. How do we manage the human aspect, the important relationships that affect every moment we spend at work? Researchers suggest that human connection is viable for remote workers, but how do we make it something vital and naturally human between the screens?

The Give & Take of Remote Work vs Human Relationships

Traditional workplace relationships develop through intentional self-disclosure — exchanging personal details over time. According to management professor Kristin Byron, remote work changes this dynamic. Instead of conversations at the water cooler or outside of cubicles, leaders learn about each other through video calls, where they are often distracted by a million other things and not 100% present with their peers. In this same aspect, however, these same leaders have more vulnerability on screen — in the form of pets, children, and natural home environments, that provide transparent glimpses into colleagues’ lives. These two conflicting aspects of working remotely make digital relationships equally complicated and humanizing in ways that were uncommon in original brick-and-mortar settings.

A survey by ResumeBuilder.com found that 25% of remote workers feel their social skills have declined since working from home, citing difficulties in initiating conversations and participating in group discussions. Additionally, 34% of remote workers report feeling isolated from their team, and 25% note fewer opportunities to learn from others, which can hinder the development of deep professional relationships. Distractions further impede connection; 76% of employees find themselves more distracted during video calls compared to in-person meetings, leading to reduced engagement. These factors contribute to a more siloed work environment, with employees communicating less frequently across groups, thereby limiting the spontaneous interactions that often foster strong workplace bonds.

But what about the positives?

Remote work presents challenges to human connection, but it can also offer specific, unique opportunities for deeper and more transparent relationships among colleagues. This blending of personal and professional spaces allows individuals to share aspects of their lives that were previously hidden or not discussed in a traditional office setting, creating more vulnerability and transparency among leaders. A 2021 Microsoft Work Trend Index Report found that, during the pandemic, "work became more human." More recently, a study highlighted by the University of Delaware found that working from home can do more to foster relationships between co-workers than interactions in the office.

So what can we do about it?

How Leaders Can Strengthen Remote Work Relationships

Rethinking Workplace Assumptions

Companies should reconsider the outdated belief that remote work inherently weakens relationships within the workplace. Remote work can strengthen bonds by offering more organic glimpses into employees' lives. Additionally, forcing employees back to the office without the option for some remote options may greatly reduce job satisfaction and retention, as many workers now value the flexibility and authenticity remote work provides.

Using Technology to Build Connection

Leaders can actively use technology to enhance workplace relationships — think a simple video call through Zoom, Teams, or Google Meet. Simple practices, such as dedicating time for personal check-ins during these meetings, can significantly strengthen team bonds.  Allocate a few minutes at the beginning of each meeting for casual conversation and personal updates. Go beyond that to schedule regular one-on-one check-ins that aren’t related to the work at hand. Instead, spend time in these meetings discussing goals, challenges, personal aspirations, and more. Additionally, collaboration tools like Slack or Microsoft Teams can be used to create informal discussion channels in the form of virtual watercoolers. This allows teams as a whole to interact in authentic (and fun) ways.

Think Personalized

Acknowledging the achievements of your peers, direct reports, and even your managers is a meaningful way to build connection — it is even better when this recognition is personalized and tailored to individual preferences and triumphs. This goes far beyond praise as well. Understanding each person’s priorities and challenges allows you to personalize your interactions and contributions in a way that aligns with their goals and needs. If you know your peer prefers to work on certain projects late at night due to their home life, it tells you that early morning meetings may be a challenge for their focus. If they aren’t required, you could go a long way to making a personal connection and meaningful impact by adjusting that schedule.

Focus on Connection

The hardest part and biggest struggle of working remotely is the ever-present demand for your attention. When you were sitting in a conference room, there was the temptation to be distracted by your phone, but it was a difficult distraction to hide. Could you imagine being caught emailing from your phone by your boss who is giving a presentation? However, in this new remote world, so many of us don’t even bat an eye at polishing off an email while someone else is sharing their screen in a Zoom call. It is extremely easy to fall prey to the demands of our time while ignoring the people we work with. You need to make a conscious effort to stay present. When meeting with others on your team, your boss, your direct reports — engage in genuine conversation by being fully present, engaging in active listening, validating others’ experiences, and practicing empathy. Go beyond transactional interactions by proactively offering help, sharing knowledge, and celebrating successes. Turn off your notifications, put down your phone, and focus on the other person on your screen like you would if they were standing in front of you.

**Pro Tip! Follow Marla Skibbins’s lead — turn your self-view off on your video meeting platform. So many people get distracted and absorbed by themselves, that they stop looking at the other person!

Foster Collaboration

Work to create camaraderie in your virtual space among all leaders, just as you would in an office setting. Digital spaces can offer many opportunities to collaborate on work projects but can go far beyond that, into online workshops, remote “lunch and learns”, virtual break rooms, team celebrations, such as for holidays and birthdays, online workshops, and learning development opportunities, interest groups, and so much more.

Remote work has transformed the way employees connect and collaborate, and it will continue to change as technology evolves. As leaders, we have a responsibility to consider how we can work to build our communities and encourage deep and meaningful human connection in a virtual workspace. 

This work is easier said than done, however. Team coaching can be an excellent tool to encourage connection and communication among virtual coworkers. Read more about Level Up EQ’s coaching services HERE.