Your Meditation Practice — and How to Make it Stick
By Marla Skibbins
It is so often that I see my clients and my meditation students struggle with making a commitment and having continuity with their meditation practice. So, in this post, I really want to explore what helped me and what I've seen help others create a more stable, ongoing practice of meditation The first thing I want to say is, that wherever you are in your meditation journey, you are not alone. Whether you want to start or have fallen off the wagon and want to jump back in, I just want you to know that you are not alone and you can find stability in your ongoing meditation practice.
Take an Aim
I remember when I first decided to commit to my meditation practice. I made a commitment for the new year that I would meditate 360 days out of the year, missing only 5 days. I would use an app called Insight Timer that tracked the number of days that I meditated, and I promised myself that it could be as short as 5 minutes as long as I tried. The important thing here is to create a goal for yourself and take aim at that goal. Even if you only spend 5 minutes actively moving toward that goal, you have still moved toward the goal.
Do Something Crazy
You need to decide what is crazy for you – for me, crazy looked like deciding to attend a 10-day silent meditation retreat in Northern California with very little information and without having done much more than sporadic meditation by myself. It was amazing and challenging. It showed me what was possible if I dedicated myself to meditation and what it could do for my heart, mind, and body. It jumpstarted the practice for me. You need to figure out what’s crazy for you – maybe it’s a day, a half day, or a week spent out of your comfort zone. Go see a teacher, go meditate in a monastery. Find something that is a departure from your every day, and commit to your meditation practice!
Have Extreme Self-Compassion
I think, of all the things that I could talk about in this post, one of the most important things for having a steady meditation practice is self-compassion. You are going to fall off the wagon – you are going to forget, get distracted, get overwhelmed, get lazy, get frustrated. You are not going to have the “perfect meditation practice” that your inner saboteur might be picturing for you. Self-compassion allows you to flow with it and to allow yourself to be wherever you are in the process. When you don’t reach your goals, it allows you to just say, “That’s okay, I love myself. I love myself, and I’m gonna get back up on that pony and do my best going forward”. That will help you more than anything. Often, when I talk to others about meditation, they say they just can't do it and it's clear they've written themselves off in some way. The more compassion, love, and kindness you can have for yourself, the easier this process will be.
Create Systems of Support
As I’ve already mentioned, I use something called Insight Timer, which is a free application you can download on your phone. It was a huge support to help me track my commitment to my everyday meditation practice. I also had a group of people that I meditated with regularly, which again helped keep my mind and heart pointed toward what I was trying to do. I also had reminders for myself in my written goals that I was going to meditate for 360 days. It might be helpful if you talk to your coach, a trusted friend, or a confidant and make a public commitment. You will have to find an external thing that can help you stick to your commitment when you get lost.
My wish for you is that you just go for it! I cannot emphasize enough how transformative it is to have a regular meditation practice to learn how to settle the mind. It does not happen right away – it can take years to have that happen – but it transforms the heart and mind. My deepest encouragement to you. I will end with one of my favorite quotes that I think is so appropriate for meditation practice:
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”